In a first for this trip, I didn’t take a single picture yesterday. My camera remained sheathed. We had a lazy day at sea, eating, meeting some of the new folk, chatting, being ‘entertained’ (of which more later), sipping our drinks, snoozing, reading – in a word relaxing, something that cruising used to be famous for. There is less of this genuine ‘doing nothing’ these days with the frequent of port calls disrupting the idyllic situation. Like many a Grumpy Old Man I put this down to the desire for instant gratification that the young ‘uns have today. Although that argument falls on it’s head when one surveys the average age of the passengers on a cruise like this. Rab and I have a small disagreement on the issue. She believes the average age is in the mid-80s, but I believe that it is less than that – perhaps the mid-60s; it is just that the older, dodderier folk catch the eye more. We will be doing an informal survey this evening as we sip our Mojitos in the Captain’s Club, allocating age into the over and under 70s to try to get a more scientific view developing.
Clearly there are many people aboard who resemble the old folk we saw on the decks of the cruise ships all those years ago when we started to focus our travelling genes. They can barely shuffle their way around the ship, let alone get off onto coaches and wander the cobbled streets and ‘uneven surfaces and steps’ that are such a feature of the guide books we are given describing the various tours. One couple we met up with just out of Tilbury represent a group that really puzzle us. She is inclined to sea-sickness; he is barely ambulant after a heart attack thought to have been caused by a viral infection he picked up on a Nile cruise some time back. Although the passage through the Bay of Biscay yesterday was a little lumpy, the minimal movement didn’t trouble us or the majority of people, who all seemed to be eating and drinking heartily, but she was pale and wan and had to get an injection from the ship’s doctor to perk her up.
Part of the entertainment on these cruises now – it was not the case in earlier days – is the guest lecturer. The MI6 spy on the Baltic end was very good as I think I mentioned, with his off-sider being OK, but the two on this trip…..well, we have our doubts after their initial presentations yesterday. The first was advertised as talking about Famous People. His choice was Laurel and Hardy…Hmmmm…famous, well, in their day no doubt, and indeed in the day of some of the older set on the ship, but….. His presentation was what might be described as pedestrian and he seemed somewhat unsure of his subject on simple issues like how many wives each of these men had. He is doing Errol Flynn today, another Famous Person that is hardly current, so we’ll see if it is worth our while!
The second part of the duo is a crime writer and we thought that he’d be worth listening to as Crime is one of Rab’s favourite genres. His concept was good – presenting evidence from an actual murder case and asking us to evaluate it and decide if the man who was hanged was guilty or not – and then presenting further evidence he had uncovered in his research to demonstrate the view he had developed. Unfortunately, again, the presentation let him down and although only Rab had nodded off in the Laurel and Hardy presentation, this time we both had difficulty in keeping our eyes open. The darkened theatre and the rocking of the boat are even more soporific than television.
Our kindly maitre d’ changed our seats and last night at dinner we found we had two pairs of gentlefolk to share our remaining dinners with. I suspect they may be a little heavy going as they don’t say much (and apparently two of them don’t hear much either – perhaps that’s why they say so little?) but at least the company is pleasant and there are no forks being waved in the air, fingers in the mouth looking for trapped morsels or loud voices with all the attraction of a crow pecking at roadkill. Praise the Lord – and would you be so kind as to pass the sugar. We also picked up a rather curious little phrase – “Do your knees play you up?” a rather about face way of putting things like Kath and Kim’s getting up your goat.
There seem, at first sight to be more gentlefolk than gypsies (although I shouldn’t use that politically incorrect word) aboard on this trip, although I think that may be more perception than reality because we are spending more time up front of the ship than towards the stern, in the absence of any sun or other reasons for getting out on deck. We had a brief foray to the bistro for lunch yesterday (this crowd follow the lead of the last in using the crowded port race instead of the empty starboard one) because we just wanted a light meal and there were some sights to see down there. One Gypsy family (or Traveller family as they are known in Britain now) wandered into the afternoon cabaret yesterday. It was a half hour show and by the time the male of the family caught my eye it was about half way in and he had three beers after that, so who knows how many he had aboard. He was rude and aggressive while his woman and their daughter seemed to be less than sober and ugly to boot, bringing to mind Churchill’s riposte to the woman who accused him of being drunk. “And you are ugly Madam. The difference between us is that I will be sober in the morning.”
There are many curious people to be seen amongst them:
· The fey woman wearing some very unusual combinations of somewhat hippy clothes; layers of gauze and lace sweeping to the floor. One could imagine her gazing in a trance at a crystal ball and farseeing the future
· In contrast to her was Jim, a lorry driver by trade. Built like a red brick outhouse, as the Australian impression has it, shaved bald, he was inclined to wearing items of clothing decorated with the Union Jack to show his patriotism. One could imagine him leading the chants and fights at football and he seemed a most unlikely person to rave about the art in the Hermitage. You truly can’t judge a book by it’s cover
· We couldn’t make out much about The Yeti who appeared from time to time collecting an enormous plate of food from the bistro and melting back into the shadows. Tall, thin and as straggly as a high altitude pine tree, he seemed to have ginger hair sprouting untidily from many likely and unlikely orifices.
· Then there is Mary, dear old Mary. A Polish immigrant to Australia 67 years ago, widowed for 39 years, still talking with a very strong accent but Australia-phile to the nth degree, her memory is going a little so she will tend to pour out her potted life story every time she sees you and frequently expresses surprise that we are also from Australia,
· And what about the odd English couple who couldn’t go down to dinner. On their first and only previous cruise they had an ‘unfortunate disagreement’ with another couple and fled the table, spending the rest of the voyage avoiding these people and never returning to the table. They feared a similar development this voyage so merely avoided the possibility.
Well, that’s it for today folks – today looks just as relaxing as yesterday, but with less lumps in the sea as we are about through the Bay. Lisbon tomorrow should produce more pictures. I’m off to check the photo shop for last nights pictures while Rab proof reads this to keep it up to standard. If there is any battery left, I’ll try to upload.
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