Monday, May 6, 2013

NZ 2013 - How Not To Run A Bed And Breakfast




We have recently returned from a lovely trip to New Zealand – journal to be posted shortly as soon as I catch up on my backlog of mail etc. Our last two nights were spent in a Bed and Breakfast establishment where the service wasn’t quite what we expected. I wrote this for a friend of ours who runs a beautiful Bed and Breakfast in The Constantia Stables, South Africa and has very high standards. She found it amusing and suggested that a wider audience might also. Incidentally, she and Rab met fifty years ago tomorrow when they were both young ladies sailing to England from South Africa.


We booked into the BnB near Cambridge on North Island, New Zealand, using the Internet. We chose it to be near to our niece Nola who we were visiting. It is situated in country New Zealand and has some lovely views. 


The email confirming our booking - and requesting payment in full in advance for the two nights we were to stay there - had indicated check in time was 2.00 pm. That suited us so after having coffee with Nola, we pitched up  with her and the family at 2.00 pm.


There was no sign of life at the homestead, built in 1909, so it is claimed. After ringing the bell and knocking on the door one of the party went around the back of the building and shortly after that a woman, who turned out to be the proprietor, came striding up the hill in gumboots, denims and a flannel shirt, her long blond hair giving every appearance of having been undone for many a day. She said she had been looking after one of her landlord's sick cows. "The poor beast couldn't stand so I gave her grass and water, until they came to take her to the vet.", she explained, "So I haven't made up your room yet."

She disappeared around the back of the building saying she would let us in the - locked - front door. And in due course she did that, disclosing a pleasant entrance and passage with an antique chair and some nice rugs on the pale carpeting. As we stepped across the threshold, she said, "Hope you haven't got any dirt on your shoes! I had the carpet shampooed last week. Perhaps you'd like to take your shoes off?" "No, we wouldn't," thought Rab and I, “Our shoes are clean.”, although Nola and her children, being younger and more biddable did as requested.

The dining room and lounge looked very nicely furnished in a somewhat old and tired look and had lovely views over the countryside. We were a little discon-certed to find there was only one bathroom with the toilet in it for the maximum of six guests. Not quite what we had expected, although on checking, this is stated on the website. Fortunately we were the only ones in residence so that did not present a problem. And, of course, Rab obeyed the instructions regarding the removal of her make- up while we were there.

As we thought we might be back late from our excursion to Hamilton Gardens with Nola and family we asked if our landlady would be there when we got back. She hemmed and hawed and wasn't sure as she had some shopping to do........Rab suggested she give us a key and she agreed to pass over the key to the screen door. We gained the impression it might be the only one - and said she'd leave the main door on the snib - whatever that meant.

When we got back, the bed had been made up. The room was very nice, the bed turned out to be very comfortable and the linen was crisp and clean. Our landlady appeared from her lair at the bottom of the passage to hand over the Rules Of The House and to enlarge on them by insisting that all plugs must be turned off at the walls to prevent the house catching fire. She said she would hate to see the building burn down because it was so old. A number of other thoughts crossed our minds. She also told us about the arrangements for breakfast. Essentially it was 'serve yourself'. And that was the last time we set eyes on her, although we did hear her later that night in a loud, long and animated conversation, possibly on Skype.

We tried to turn on the bedside lights before we went out as we knew we'd be back after dark and finally found, after moving the bed, that the wall plug had been turned off. Since we had no intention of shifting the bed when we got back after dinner, we broke all the rules and left the wall plug on. Our feeling was that as long as we weren't there when the house burned, we weren't too fussed.

Returning after dark we were surprised to see three or four calves in our headlights as we came up the drive. They seemed equally surprised and bounced off into the night. We slept well and there was a lovely misty morning when I woke up and went through to the dining room to make coffee for Rab.

There were a couple of surprises for me. One was the fact that three cows and a goat were inspecting our car in the driveway before moving on to browse on the roses. Apparently goats are very partial to roses.

The second surprise was to see how nicely the breakfast table had been laid when we were out. A sort of minimalist approach. I filled the kettle from the trickling tap in the bathroom basin and, after inspecting the coffee available for the plunger, which seemed that it might have been ground some time ago, and the instant coffee, which was a bit crusty, I decided to use our last two instant Cappuccino packs. Good decision I think.

The hot water in the bathroom did take the promised two or three minutes to come through and was very hot. The shower was something of a trickle but was OK. The Rules Of The House said we could use the soap and shampoo in the shower. We were glad we had our own soap though, as there was none in the bathroom - and that we didn't need the Dry Hair Shampoo which was empty. Presumably some previous guest suffered this affliction. And so to breakfast, always an important meal for us, providing the foundation for the day's activities. Less important for our hostess it seemed.

There were three jars of cereal on the nice oak sideboard. Not too sure how long they had been there, as the last entry in the guestbook was two months old. But they were not too soggy or stale. There was also a spoonful of sugar left in the bottom of the very fine china sugar bowl. The milk was in the fridge in the corner of the room, delicately served in its original 2 litre container. Although there was not much left in the bottle, there was enough for our cereal. The cereal didn't taste any different with the silver spoons, but maybe just a bit more sugar?

Toast would be nice we thought - and we found there were three or four slices of bread of two different sorts in the freezer. The old toaster, possibly purchased from Noah after he'd done with it, did warm the frozen bread through and  a second push down browned it lightly. There was a tub containing some off cuts of old butter which we used but some of the jams in the fridge looked a little old (none had use by dates)  and the mould on the lemon curd was off putting. Fortunately there was Vegemite where you can't see the mould. And so we had a reasonable breakfast, leaving the crockery and utensils we had used in the washing up box next to the toaster.

We went off to meet up with Nola, still without seeing our hostess. Rab called out at the door of her quarters to say we were taking the key and she responded, saying that she was still in her dressing gown, doing some work.

We came back at about four in the afternoon after a lovely day out and let ourselves into the locked house only to  find that our bed was precisely as we had left it in the morning - nothing had been made up. A disembodied voice from the living quarters enquired if we had a nice day and if we wanted any coffee. We declined and made up our bed ourselves.

We left the house again later that afternoon to join Nola and family for an evening meal, again taking the key and when we got back at about nine that night the light was out in the landlady's quarters. She had been adamant that  we should write in her new visitor's book - we would be the first guests to do so and Rab was very tempted to write exactly what she thought. I opposed that on the grounds that it wouldn't do any good.
 
We were awake the next morning early and decided against eating breakfast - there was now not enough milk for the two of us to have cereal in any event - and decided to get a bite to eat on the road to Auckland.

Farewell Pedfield Country House BnB, we'll not be returning.

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